Nine members braved the chilly Manchester weather to attend the group tonight. With only three pieces to critique, we breezed through the submissions. As a quick reminder to all you scribes, we have extended the deadline for the group anthology until the end of May. This anthology is a great opportunity to get a writing credit to your name, and we don’t have too many submissions from group members yet. If you’ve got an idea for a kick ass speculative fiction yarn set in Manchester, get scribbling! You can even submit it to the group first if you’re looking for a bit of encouragement.
Anyhoo. On with the crits!
Mike:
Mike presented a piece called love and brooding. Lots of positive comments for the uniqueness of this piece. More details listed below:
- Some comments that the older brother character could have been added sooner. Should we know about him sooner?
- Lots of genuine interest in the uniqueness of this piece.
- Is there a conflict between tasting information and father giving information? Are they two separate things or are they the same?
- Some questions over whether they are fish or not. Are the fingers that are referenced actually fins?
- Nice comments about the God-like facade of the father.
- The relationship between Pax and Neera really shines through.
- Comments on the mixology of emotions and the sense. Happiness with a salty taste… great stuff!
- Very readable style. A potentially very cloudy piece is made super perspicuous and clear.
James:
James presented a piece call ‘A day at the dog factory’. Again, there was a warm reception for this bizarro piece. Some of the points raised include:
- Some comments that this is a return to form.
- Although it was dark, it was not over the top.
- Nice comparisons with other supposedly ‘cultural institutions’ or traditions.
- Praise, too, for the poignant treatment of the immigrants!
- The dialogue seem natural? Some comments that the ‘speech’ the protag gives seems quite unnatural.
- Do the protagonist’s motivations seem natural? Does it make sense for the protag to be a long time enthusiast of dog factories and for her to also hate the system? We seem to yo-yo between different views here.
Tom:
Tom presented another chapter from his novel The Wayward Star. The group are all enjoying this rip-roaring space opera. Some comments on this particular chapter include:
- Some comments that the refocus on Chen as a character is welcome.
- Some great descriptions peppered throughout.
- There is a good sense of imprisonment in this piece.
- Some comments that the amount detail bogged the chapter down.
- Is there a bit of repetition? She has so far befriended both of her alien captors?
- Is the constant lack of effective communication slowing down the story?
