My thanks to Luke for taking the following notes:
It was a quiet night at the group this week with only two pieces being critiqued. A massive welcome to Peter and Angela who were joining us for the first time — we’re normally busier than this guys, honest!
- Bronwin presented a segment from a novel called The Trepida Mists. I think everyone enjoyed the world building in this piece, though there were some calls to make it clearer what some of the gadgets were. The majority feeling amongst the group was that the POV needs work. The distant omniscient narrator was quite clunky and jarring in places and there were calls for a much stricter, more limited viewpoint. Everyone thought the sibling rivalry was communicated well and that it would work even better if we were seeing the story through one of the characters eyes. The story came across as told rather than shown in a few areas. Self Editing For Fiction Writers recommended as reading material.
- Eric presented a further chapter from his novel Hellbound. Everyone enjoyed this piece, with some members feeling like the story is getting back on track after a few plot diversions in earlier chapters. There was lots of praise for the horrific imagery. A ten foot insect probing the innards of its prey with a suckling proboscis? A suit clad demon fishing for moths in his victim’s oesophagus? What more do you need to give you nightmares! Some questions over the clash of a demonic mythology with an ostensibly Lovecraftian mythos. The old ones kind of pop up out of nowhere. There were some questions over the inclusion of large passages of German, and a hallowed tome bound in human skin? It felt a bit close to the Evil Dead for some readers.
After the crits we all popped over to Common for libation and our usual chinwag. Topics of conversation included our current Call of Cthulhu campaign, and the eventful evening at Verbose the night before.
See you all on the 9th of March!