Hi everyone! Another great meeting last night with 4 submissions critiqued and 12 people attending. I’d like to offer a warm welcome to Emma who gave some excellently balanced critiques.
Eliza has started a conversation over on Facebook suggesting that we have a Christmas party. What does everyone think? Please head on over and add your comments or drop me an email if you’re not on Facebook and I’ll make sure your voice is heard.
OK…on with the crits!
- James presented the fourth chapter from his novel Children of the Evolution. Plenty of compliments for the pacing in this piece compared with previous chapters. The relationship between the brothers and their characterisation was much enjoyed although a few people wanted a little less formality with the dialogue. There was some confusion over annums as currency and some of the jargon used. Some comparisons made with platform games (perhaps the whole point).
- Chris presented a short story called Practice Makes Perfect. There was plenty of appreciation for the creepy/horrific twist at the end of this story. Lots of people found this an easy, fast-paced read. There some confusion over the sex of the first person protagonist. Questions from some people over the discrepancy in size between the original person and the folded article. First film reference of the night from Eric: Warlock 2 (is this the right trailer?).
- Elliot presented a re-written* prologue and two new chapters from his novel A Chronicle of Advancement. Several people enjoyed the unusual viewpoint from the baby, although a few individuals wondered whether the length of these sections should be reduced (especially the second scene). There were a few questions asked over viewpoint slips and/or use of omniscience. Some confusing hyphenated breaks which turned out to be flashbacks. Calls to drop the prologue completely.
- Graeme presented a short story called Mountain of Light. I think everyone enjoyed the ravens, although a few people wondered at some further significance related to the god-like apparition. The circular twist at the end was liked by some and disliked by others. Plenty of compliments for the supernatural element in this story although a few people wondered if it didn’t go far enough. Much confusion over the remote controlled Land Rover. Too many watches for some people. Second film reference of the evening: Entrapment.
* This is an accidental rule-break. We don’t usually allow resubmissions for edits of previously submitted work.
That leaves one submission from Len to carry over to the next meeting, the second half of his short story Life Can Be Hell.
My apologies for not joining everyone at Common after the meeting but my throat is still a bit wrecked after a recent illness. I’m on the mend and I should be able to join you as normal at the next meeting. Talking of which…
Next meeting: Tuesday 27th October
See you all then!